raos.com - Natural, sweetener-free tomato sauces, marinaras, etc. Some do have cheese. Haven't tried them yet, but saw them recommended on a paleo site. Good back up idea to have a few on hand when you can't summon the strength to make your own sauce. I grew up on homemade marinara so I'll go back to that recipe, but have to wait until next month since it has honey.
Also available on Amazon & gets great ratings - price is $6-8/jar :(
Friday, March 7, 2014
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Surviving Whole Foods
Whole Foods is like Vegas. You go there to feel good but you leave
broke, disoriented, and with the newfound knowledge that you have a
vaginal disease.
Unlike Vegas, Whole Foods' clientele are all about mindfulness and compassion... until they get to the parking lot. Then it's war. As I pull up this morning, I see a pregnant lady on the crosswalk holding a baby and groceries. This driver swerves around her and honks. As he speeds off I catch his bumper sticker, which says 'NAMASTE'. Poor lady didn't even hear him approaching because he was driving a Prius. He crept up on her like a panther.
As the great, sliding glass doors part I am immediately smacked in the face by a wall of cool, moist air that smells of strawberries and orchids. I leave behind the concrete jungle and enter a cornucopia of organic bliss; the land of hemp milk and honey. Seriously, think about Heaven and then think about Whole Foods; they're basically the same.
The first thing I see is the great wall of kombucha -- 42 different kinds of rotten tea. Fun fact: the word kombucha is Japanese for 'I gizzed in your tea.' Anyone who's ever swallowed the glob of mucus at the end of the bottle knows exactly what I'm talking about. I believe this thing is called "The Mother," which makes it that much creepier.
Next I see the gluten-free section filled with crackers and bread made from various wheat-substitutes such as cardboard and sawdust. I skip this aisle because I'm not rich enough to have dietary restrictions. Ever notice that you don't meet poor people with special diet needs? A gluten intolerant house cleaner? A cab driver with Candida? Candida is what I call a rich, white person problem. You know you've really made it in this world when you get Candida. My personal theory is that Candida is something you get from too much hot yoga. All I'm saying is if I were a yeast, I would want to live in your yoga pants.
Next I approach the beauty aisle. There is a scary looking machine there that you put your face inside of and it tells you exactly how ugly you are. They calculate your wrinkles, sun spots, the size of your pores, etc. and compare it to other women your age. I think of myself attractive but as it turns out, I am 78 percent ugly, meaning less pretty than 78 percent of women in the world. On the popular 1-10 hotness scale used by males the world over, that makes me a 3 (if you round up, which I hope you will.) A glance at the extremely close-up picture they took of my face, in which I somehow have a glorious, blond porn mustache, tells me that 3 is about right. Especially because the left side of my face is apparently 20 percent more aged than the right. Fantastic. After contemplating ending it all here and now, I decide instead to buy their product. One bottle of delicious smelling, silky feeling creme that is maybe going to raise me from a 3 to a 4 for only $108 which is a pretty good deal when you think about it.
I grab a handful of peanut butter pretzels on my way out of this stupid aisle. I don't feel bad about pilfering these bites because of the umpteen times that I've overpaid at the salad bar and been tricked into buying $108 beauty creams. The pretzels are very fattening but I'm already in the seventieth percentile of ugly so who cares.
Next I come to the vitamin aisle which is a danger zone for any broke hypochondriac. Warning: Whole Foods keeps their best people in this section. Although you think she's a homeless person at first, that vitamin clerk is an ex-pharmaceuticals sales rep. Today she talks me into buying estrogen for my mystery mustache and Women's Acidophilus because apparently I DO have Candida after all.
I move on to the next aisle and ask the nearest Whole Foods clerk for help. He's wearing a visor inside and as if that weren't douchey enough, it has one word on it in all caps. Yup, NAMASTE. I ask him where I can find whole wheat bread. He chuckles at me "Oh, we keep the poison in aisle 7." Based solely on the attitudes of people sporting namaste paraphernalia today, I'd think it was Sanskrit for "go f--k yourself."
I pass the table where the guy invites me to join a group cleanse he's leading. For $179.99 I can not-eat not-alone... not-gonna-happen. They're doing the cleanse where you consume nothing but lemon juice, cayenne pepper and fiber pills for 10 days, what's that one called again? Oh, yeah...anorexia. I went on a cleanse once; it was a mixed blessing. On the one hand, I detoxified, I purified, I lost weight. On the other hand, I fell asleep on the highway, fantasized about eating a pigeon, and crapped my pants. I think I'll stick with the whole eating thing.
I grab a couple of loaves of poison, and head to checkout. The fact that I'm at Whole Foods on a Sunday finally sinks in when I join the end of the line...halfway down the dog food aisle. I suddenly realize that I'm dying to get out of this store. Maybe it's the lonely feeling of being a carnivore in a sea of vegans, or the newfound knowledge that some people's dogs eat better than I do, but mostly I think it's the fact that Yanni has been playing literally this entire time. Like sensory deprivation, listening to Yanni seems harmless at first, enjoyable even. But two hours in, you'll chew your own ear off to make it stop.
A thousand minutes later, I get to the cashier. She is 95 percent beautiful. "Have you brought your reusable bags?" F--k. No, they are at home with their 2 dozen once-used friends. She rings up my meat, alcohol, gluten and a wrapper from the chocolate bar I ate in line, with thinly veiled alarm. She scans my ladies acidophilus, gives me a pitying frown and whispers, "Ya know, if you wanna get rid of your Candida, you should stop feeding it." She rings me up for $313. I resist the urge to unwrap and swallow whole another $6 truffle in protest. Barely. Instead, I reach for my wallet, flash her a quiet smile and say, "Namaste."
~Kelly MacLean
Unlike Vegas, Whole Foods' clientele are all about mindfulness and compassion... until they get to the parking lot. Then it's war. As I pull up this morning, I see a pregnant lady on the crosswalk holding a baby and groceries. This driver swerves around her and honks. As he speeds off I catch his bumper sticker, which says 'NAMASTE'. Poor lady didn't even hear him approaching because he was driving a Prius. He crept up on her like a panther.
As the great, sliding glass doors part I am immediately smacked in the face by a wall of cool, moist air that smells of strawberries and orchids. I leave behind the concrete jungle and enter a cornucopia of organic bliss; the land of hemp milk and honey. Seriously, think about Heaven and then think about Whole Foods; they're basically the same.
The first thing I see is the great wall of kombucha -- 42 different kinds of rotten tea. Fun fact: the word kombucha is Japanese for 'I gizzed in your tea.' Anyone who's ever swallowed the glob of mucus at the end of the bottle knows exactly what I'm talking about. I believe this thing is called "The Mother," which makes it that much creepier.
Next I see the gluten-free section filled with crackers and bread made from various wheat-substitutes such as cardboard and sawdust. I skip this aisle because I'm not rich enough to have dietary restrictions. Ever notice that you don't meet poor people with special diet needs? A gluten intolerant house cleaner? A cab driver with Candida? Candida is what I call a rich, white person problem. You know you've really made it in this world when you get Candida. My personal theory is that Candida is something you get from too much hot yoga. All I'm saying is if I were a yeast, I would want to live in your yoga pants.
Next I approach the beauty aisle. There is a scary looking machine there that you put your face inside of and it tells you exactly how ugly you are. They calculate your wrinkles, sun spots, the size of your pores, etc. and compare it to other women your age. I think of myself attractive but as it turns out, I am 78 percent ugly, meaning less pretty than 78 percent of women in the world. On the popular 1-10 hotness scale used by males the world over, that makes me a 3 (if you round up, which I hope you will.) A glance at the extremely close-up picture they took of my face, in which I somehow have a glorious, blond porn mustache, tells me that 3 is about right. Especially because the left side of my face is apparently 20 percent more aged than the right. Fantastic. After contemplating ending it all here and now, I decide instead to buy their product. One bottle of delicious smelling, silky feeling creme that is maybe going to raise me from a 3 to a 4 for only $108 which is a pretty good deal when you think about it.
I grab a handful of peanut butter pretzels on my way out of this stupid aisle. I don't feel bad about pilfering these bites because of the umpteen times that I've overpaid at the salad bar and been tricked into buying $108 beauty creams. The pretzels are very fattening but I'm already in the seventieth percentile of ugly so who cares.
Next I come to the vitamin aisle which is a danger zone for any broke hypochondriac. Warning: Whole Foods keeps their best people in this section. Although you think she's a homeless person at first, that vitamin clerk is an ex-pharmaceuticals sales rep. Today she talks me into buying estrogen for my mystery mustache and Women's Acidophilus because apparently I DO have Candida after all.
I move on to the next aisle and ask the nearest Whole Foods clerk for help. He's wearing a visor inside and as if that weren't douchey enough, it has one word on it in all caps. Yup, NAMASTE. I ask him where I can find whole wheat bread. He chuckles at me "Oh, we keep the poison in aisle 7." Based solely on the attitudes of people sporting namaste paraphernalia today, I'd think it was Sanskrit for "go f--k yourself."
I pass the table where the guy invites me to join a group cleanse he's leading. For $179.99 I can not-eat not-alone... not-gonna-happen. They're doing the cleanse where you consume nothing but lemon juice, cayenne pepper and fiber pills for 10 days, what's that one called again? Oh, yeah...anorexia. I went on a cleanse once; it was a mixed blessing. On the one hand, I detoxified, I purified, I lost weight. On the other hand, I fell asleep on the highway, fantasized about eating a pigeon, and crapped my pants. I think I'll stick with the whole eating thing.
I grab a couple of loaves of poison, and head to checkout. The fact that I'm at Whole Foods on a Sunday finally sinks in when I join the end of the line...halfway down the dog food aisle. I suddenly realize that I'm dying to get out of this store. Maybe it's the lonely feeling of being a carnivore in a sea of vegans, or the newfound knowledge that some people's dogs eat better than I do, but mostly I think it's the fact that Yanni has been playing literally this entire time. Like sensory deprivation, listening to Yanni seems harmless at first, enjoyable even. But two hours in, you'll chew your own ear off to make it stop.
A thousand minutes later, I get to the cashier. She is 95 percent beautiful. "Have you brought your reusable bags?" F--k. No, they are at home with their 2 dozen once-used friends. She rings up my meat, alcohol, gluten and a wrapper from the chocolate bar I ate in line, with thinly veiled alarm. She scans my ladies acidophilus, gives me a pitying frown and whispers, "Ya know, if you wanna get rid of your Candida, you should stop feeding it." She rings me up for $313. I resist the urge to unwrap and swallow whole another $6 truffle in protest. Barely. Instead, I reach for my wallet, flash her a quiet smile and say, "Namaste."
~Kelly MacLean
Pork Marindade - BBQ sauce
1/2 c. coconut aminos
1 dried date (weird, but it adds sweetness)
3 cloves garlic, chopped (about 1.5 TBSP)
1/4 c. unsweetened applesauce (I steam 1 sliced apple til soft)
1 tsp. rice vinegar
1 TBSP sunflower or almond butter
4 tsp. sesame oil
1/4 tsp. crushed red pepper flakes (omit if you are complicated)
1 1/2 tsp. powdered ginger
1
tsp Chinese five-spice powder (equal parts cinnamon, cloves, star
anise, and two other things I can't remember. Fred Meyer doesn't carry
it pre-mixed, but I think Tacoma Boys does... and you can find a billion
recipes online)
1/4 tsp. ground black pepper
Process or
blend until combined (my date is always chunky). Put your pork and 1/2
the marinade in a gallon bag and refrigerate, 30 min - several hours.
Turn 1/2 cup of the marinade into BBQ sauce by adding 1/4
cup of tomato paste, 1/3 cup unsweetened applesauce and 1/2 TBSP rice
vinegar and warm on the stove top.
~Randi
Costco
I was at Costco today & it wins lowest price for all the products below compared to the other price reviews posted so far...
Almond Flour - $5.99/lb, 3 lb bag for $17.99
Almond Butter - $6.08/lb, big jar for $9.89
Coconut Oil - $0.30/oz, 78 oz jug for $22.99
---
April 19 - Costco now has Coconut Flour! $6.99 for 4 pounds. Much better than the $7 for 1 pound I paid at Tacoma Boys before going to Costco...
Almond Flour - $5.99/lb, 3 lb bag for $17.99
Almond Butter - $6.08/lb, big jar for $9.89
Coconut Oil - $0.30/oz, 78 oz jug for $22.99
---
April 19 - Costco now has Coconut Flour! $6.99 for 4 pounds. Much better than the $7 for 1 pound I paid at Tacoma Boys before going to Costco...
Sunday, March 2, 2014
How to make ghee
http://www.everydaymaven.com/2013/how-to-make-ghee/
My ghee is cooling right now. Will let you know if it turns out alright!
My ghee is cooling right now. Will let you know if it turns out alright!
Thursday, February 27, 2014
Amazon
I did some pantry shopping on Amazon today, these are only Prime-Eligible products...
Almond Flour
* $7/lb for a 5lb bag of Anthony's Almonds Natural Almond Meal/Flour:
* There was also a "blanched" variety of this, but I don't know what that means & it was a little more expensive.
...well a few minutes later I got notice that this product was no longer available but the blanched was. So I learned that blanched means the almonds are soaked in water & skins removed. Almond flour is finer while almond meal is coarser & usually has skin.
*I'm changing my recommendation to the Anthony's Almonds Blanched Almond Flour 5lbs at $7.60/lb (Winco is cheaper and nuts.com is more for the same size.)
----
Ghee
* There is a 56oz jar (3.5lbs!) at $0.64/oz ($35.85), Nanak Pure Desi Ghee. But that seems like a lot.
* Whole30 recommends the Pure Indian Foods brand & that's available as both cultured ($1.64/oz) or not ($1.60/oz). Don't know what cultured means or what the difference is.
----
Canned Salmon
* Wild Planet Sustainably Caught Pink Salmon $0.92/oz (6 cans for $33.19) - the Sockeye is more expensive.
* The Kirkland Signature brand of Sockeye won't show the label so I can't confirm added ingredients, but it's $2.21/oz!
* The winner is Crown Prince Natural Pink Salmon Wild Caught - I can't see the ingredients list either, but it's a 12-pack at $0.46/oz. for $41.34. Here's the description:
----
Coconut Butter
* Artisana seems to be the leading brand (and recommended by Whole30.) The large container is 16 oz at $0.83/oz, the smaller one at 8oz is twice as much at $1.87/oz. They also sell it in 10-packs (small pouches) at $1.33/oz.
----
Coconut Milk - Randi already commented in her post & I got the same thing.
----
Tahini - $0.72/oz, only one choice
----
Sesame Oil - best deal is Kevala 8oz at $1.32/oz, assuming you don't want to buy gallons.
----
Cashews - 5lbs raw for $29.45 ($5.89/lb)
Almond Flour
* $7/lb for a 5lb bag of Anthony's Almonds Natural Almond Meal/Flour:
* There was also a "blanched" variety of this, but I don't know what that means & it was a little more expensive.
...well a few minutes later I got notice that this product was no longer available but the blanched was. So I learned that blanched means the almonds are soaked in water & skins removed. Almond flour is finer while almond meal is coarser & usually has skin.
*I'm changing my recommendation to the Anthony's Almonds Blanched Almond Flour 5lbs at $7.60/lb (Winco is cheaper and nuts.com is more for the same size.)
----
Ghee
* There is a 56oz jar (3.5lbs!) at $0.64/oz ($35.85), Nanak Pure Desi Ghee. But that seems like a lot.
* Whole30 recommends the Pure Indian Foods brand & that's available as both cultured ($1.64/oz) or not ($1.60/oz). Don't know what cultured means or what the difference is.
----
Canned Salmon
* Wild Planet Sustainably Caught Pink Salmon $0.92/oz (6 cans for $33.19) - the Sockeye is more expensive.
* The Kirkland Signature brand of Sockeye won't show the label so I can't confirm added ingredients, but it's $2.21/oz!
* The winner is Crown Prince Natural Pink Salmon Wild Caught - I can't see the ingredients list either, but it's a 12-pack at $0.46/oz. for $41.34. Here's the description:
- Case of twelve, 7.5-ounce cans with pull-top lids (total of 90 ounces)
- MSC Certified sustainable seafood; gluten free; kosher
- Contains 1.5 grams of omega-3; excellent source of protein; low sodium
- Traditionally packed to include the bones and skin for added calcium
- Sustainably wild caught; product of Canada
Coconut Butter
* Artisana seems to be the leading brand (and recommended by Whole30.) The large container is 16 oz at $0.83/oz, the smaller one at 8oz is twice as much at $1.87/oz. They also sell it in 10-packs (small pouches) at $1.33/oz.
----
Coconut Milk - Randi already commented in her post & I got the same thing.
----
Tahini - $0.72/oz, only one choice
----
Sesame Oil - best deal is Kevala 8oz at $1.32/oz, assuming you don't want to buy gallons.
----
Cashews - 5lbs raw for $29.45 ($5.89/lb)
Full Circle Review
After getting two full circle boxes, just wanted to let you know how I like it so far! I love getting a box on my porch every Tuesday. I also like that it is 100% customizable - they give you a list of what is in the standard box, and then you have about 20 options of things you can trade out for. And you have from Wed-Sun to do it. I haven't gotten anything that I didn't want, and the quality is really good. With a few exceptions. The avocados I got last week were bad. I had to throw them all away. And this week, one of my pears was mushy. They have a 100% guarantee, 
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